"I didn't give you the gift of life, but in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
as if it had been so.
For us to have each other
is like a dream come true.
No, I didn't give you the gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you."
Baby girl is officially 5 months old today. The required 6-month waiting period for the finalization of a Texas adoption is almost over and so we have been ironing out the paperwork the past few days with our attorney to finalize Taylor's adoption. As I have been pondering this upcoming day for us, Taylor's birthmother has been near and dear to my heart and close to my thoughts. Words could never fully express how grateful we are that she chose us to be Taylor's forever family. I am still in awe every time I walk in the room to pick up my daughter that she is really here. My heart overflows with love every time I get to hold her and cuddle with her. I never for one minute forget what a priceless gift this is...to be her mother.
I have such love and gratitude for both of my children's birthmothers. Given their specific circumstances, they could have made the choice to terminate their pregnancies (something that has become all too common in our society), but instead, both of these women made the courageous and admirable choice to give life to their children. My heart is so full when I think about the eternal connection I have with them through our children--- because of these amazing women I have the opportunity to be a mother in this lifetime.
I am learning more each day as I care for Noah, Taylor and baby boy what a sacred calling it is to be a mother. It's not something that came easy...Jody and I had to travel through some dark days with infertility---but as I look back now on those unsure days of living with infertility--I wouldn't change any of it. My experiences with infertility and adoption have changed me forever---they have changed me for the better in many ways. I have a greater depth to my soul and have gained a deeper testimony of Heavenly Father's plan for our family.
When other people ask me about our thoughts and experience with adoption---the only real comparison I can think of is the selfless gift that the Savior gave for each of us--the Atonement. He suffered such indescribable physical and emotional pain to ensure that we all would have a better life here and in the eternities---much like the same decision a birthmother experiences as she chooses to put her child's best interest above her own. A humbling event that both Jody and I have been honored to experience now twice with both of our children.
As I sit here today, it's hard to believe that just 5 months ago I stood in a hospital delivery room and witnessed Taylor's birthmom give birth to our precious daughter. What an unbelievable, beautiful and surreal experience this was to see this precious little spirit take her first breath. I'll never forget the feelings that washed over my heart and mind at that moment as long as I live. To watch this amazing young woman suffer so much pain to give her beautiful baby girl the gift of life and then to watch her go through such emotional pain as she followed through with her decision to place Taylor in our care---it was truly humbling in every way. As a result, no matter how hard parenting can be some days, my heart never allows me to take for granted one moment I have with my children because of what I watched their birthmothers go through to help us and the Lord get these sweet babies to our family.
Next month we will be taking Taylor to a courthouse with our attorney to finalize her adoption. The following day we will then be going as a family to the Dallas LDS temple to be sealed as a forever family (if you are not of our faith, you can learn more about a temple sealing here). What an exciting and special day this will be for our family. Taylor's birthmother and birth-grandparents will be joining us at the temple and for her blessing that same weekend (and of course all of our extended family will be in attendance, too). While I know this will be a bittersweet day for Taylor's birthmother---I have faith and trust that we will feel an outpouring of the Savior's love surrounding us for this special day... encircling us together in His loving arms and forever knitting our hearts together in love for our precious daughter.
With great love and gratitude of heart,